Beijing

A 24 hour train took us from Guangzhou to Beijing.

The night before our Beijing trip me and Viney went to an 24 hour Uyghur restaurant in Guangzhou.

Facts about Uyghur people:

Most Uyghur people live in the Xinjiang province witch is an autonomous region situated on Chinas western territories. According to Wikipedia the population exceeds 19 million.

The Uyghur culture is influenced by Chinese, Pakistanian, Kazakhstanian, Kyrgystanian, Uzbekistanian, Mongolaian, Turkish and Russian culture. Although the Turcik influences are the most noticeable and the Uyghurs are often referd to as "the Turcik people of Central Asia".

In Xinjian the Buddhist Chinese and the Muslim Uyghurs live side by side and as far as I know there is very little tension between these people.

Uyghur people chillin

Delicious Uyghur food

To the Capital:

Compared to our dormitory beds the trains "hard sleeper" felt like a luxury hotel. Six people share one coupe and me and Viney had the top beds. You would think that the ride was going to be boring and smelly. But boring it was not. As soon as you started walking in the hallways people started asking you question and inviting you in to their compartments. Some of the old guys where drinking so hard that it was like a jungle sometimes, it made you wonder how I keep from going under, huh, huh huh huh. Even though Grandmaster flash wasn't there the train eventually became "Alcofest 2008". On the way back from the water boiler me and Viney where invited to eat our noodles with a Chinese family. We gladly accepted and one thing led to another and before we knew it we had a big piece sausage in our noodles, a piece of salty wood in our mouths and a mini bottle of 56% Chinese vodka in our left hands. An hour later we where all best friends and somehow we had managed to successfully communicate through Vineys "elementary Chinese" workbook. Strangely we never got into politics.

Wo de peng you! I think I'm married to the ladie on my left.

Viney and Ian

Word of advice. Do not visit the Great Wall unrested, hungover and in need of abdomen relief.

Massive line to take the metro in Beijing

Chinese people in downtown Beijing

Have no idea what this was

Management

This is the angriest beetle I have ever met. He was just hating me so much.

Macadium Arcadium

For my journalistic photography class I spent a couple of days in a arcade hall in downtown Macau.

Some pictures from the portfolio:

Afla Alf

One day I wake up and see a note next to me with the words "Afla Alf". Earlier that night I had waken up laughing my hearts out. This is one of the strangest and most fun things I've ever experienced.

Afla Alf; a special way of tap dancing that requires zero enthusiasm. When done correctly a sound much louder than your average tap sound will be produced.

Man Man

Minutes after this picture was taken, Ana the girl responsible for locking in her bedroom key gave me permission to kick her door in. The two dejected lock pickers from Portugal, Michell and Catharina had to admit defeat and leave the scene.

I took a deep breath and with a masculine muay thai front kick the door was shattered into pieces.

My mustache grew three centimeters that day.

Buddy meeting 2.0. Now with fireworks

I liked my buddies. Not the wildest bunch but they always gave me the best insight on the Chinese culture in general and the differences between Chinese people from different regions.

The Canton Fair

With a made up company name and a last minute maid Id-card I requested permission to enter the Canton fair. One week later I received the invitation and was on my way to attend the fair as Ali Vice president of aliVSchina.

The Canton fair is the biggest import- export fair in China. Buyers and sellers from all over the world come here to find supplies or business partners. Everything imaginable is being sold. Think of any detail of any product or the product itself and you could probably find it in the Canton fair. A miniature version of this fair is being built in Kalmar and still it is going to be Europe’s biggest exhibition hall for Chinese products. Kalmar is also famous for having a shitty football team.

A thirty minute walk between the exhibition halls is speeded up by moving walkways

Visit to Guangzhou

Guangzhou is Chinas third biggest city. From very unreliable sources I’ve heard that it also is the most multicultural city. With the Chinese Culture course, a course more practical than understandable, we took a daytrip to Guangzhou.

A man raising his hand wearing a hat

A Chinese garden inside a hidden chinese palace

A parade that was taking place in the hidden garden was being documented by chinese media. Being the only foreigners there, we where asked to participate in the film. Gladly and without second thoughts, we laughed, cheered and sold out our beliefs to the chinese propaganda machinery.

Director telling us how to cheer

Camera on tripod with a chinese man on the left side

Cheering our hearts out for the imaginary parade

Men chilling out in traditional rave clothing

Chinese healthy food. Delicacies including duck ovum.

Something

Me Buddha and Hong Kong

I took the ferry boat to Hong Kong around 7 pm. The 50 minute trip made me realize that eating before a boat ride is not a good idea. With my fried rice chicken still in my stomach I started wandering about in this skyscraper infested city. I somehow managed to repeatedly get astray in the Mong Kok area. Three hours later I still hadn’t found the computer supplies that I was looking for, instead a pair of rock climbing shoes where laying in my. ”Why did you bring the backpack?” Robert asks me when I meet him and his girlfriend at Kwon Chai for party purposes. “I’m planning to stay for a couple of days”, I answer without realizing the future burden this bag will be during the rest of the evening.

Soon backup arrived in the shape of Robert, Staffan, Daniel and Ian. All of them smartly dressed with their hair done and this and that. There was a short discussion about whether or not we should go to the 30-shots for 300 HK dollars place before we go to the party street. The discussion was more likely to be considered a monologue where Robert asked “do you guys want to go to…” and everybody respond “yes” and shake each others hand and laugh, and things are good even though my bag starts to feel a little heavier. I decide to wrap my camera in my sweater and hide it in the bottom alongside my passport and my other valuables.

60 shots and 30 beers later – taxi – street – people and Daniel – Daniel and Robert – cigarettes and another Robert – Ljung and Robert – Ian and Staffan sometimes on the horizon. Room with Filipino bartenders – laughing – street – somewhere in Hong Kong – Where is my bag? Where is my back? They are both behind me – relief – I need to go home – Taxi – “Macau mgooooj” – “University of Macaaaooo” – “Mgooooy”.

Walking alongside a purple greenish hill, there are noises in front of me and I couldn’t care less. Mphh mpphh, someone mumbles. The noises seem to come from inside the hill and I’m very hungry.

“Psst, pssst, Im right here brotha”, says the hill. “Listen hill, I don’t know what you want but I really need to go back to Macau, and have you seen Bjoern, hehe, not Bjorn, he wasn’t with us but, heh Robert and them, you saw them? They should ha… “LISTEN MAN”, screams the voice.” I’ve been trapped under this hill for five fucking hundred years, just please help me out… please”. My heart starts pounding harder than ever before, I know this feeling. Keep calm Ali I think to my self, keep calm. Slowly now, breathe. WHERE THE FUCK AM I ?! The panic starts spreading as if I was in a burning room with blind people and there was no exit to be found. A clap on my shoulder, I turn around and the world has never been as beautiful and calm as now.

With a gentle smile Buddha shreds the hill into pieces and out comes a monkey thing.

“This Monkey Thing will safely escort you to India, there you will find the holy scrolls and bring them back to me”.

“Listen brotha man, I thought Hong Kong was gonna be all fun and high buldings, Im sorry but this scroll fetching business I cannot be bothered with” I say explain to Buddha. “And also do you know where I can find a McDonalds or something, a pizza hut would also work maybe a burglar king, yes! A burglar king would b…”

“His gone asshole and it’s called Burger King, not burglar”, The Monkey Thing says.

“I obviously know how to say Burger King since my own imaginary monkey man or whatever the hell you are is correcting me in my own twisted hallucination.”

We stare at each other.

“lets find the scrolls”
“lets”

We walk through jungles and caves, men are slaughtered and others hugged. Monkey Thing soon unveils to be a good ally. Another friend shows up, Piggy. Together Monkey Thing, Piggy and I find our way to India where we find the scrolls and also a private jet with onboard McDonalds services witch can take me back to Macau. Somehow the McDonalds onboard the plane is very similar to the one in Taipa where I live.

“What do you mean ‘we have only breakfast menus at this hour?”

I stop myself, of course the jet is flying against time and where I’m going now it will soon be morning.

“Never mind, just give me two of your best meals, NO, three and make it take away”.

I put on my parachute and jump.

I wake up in my bed, my bag is there.

Hong Kong is a nice city I hope I will go back again.

This picture has nothing to do with the story